The Art Of Being Human
by Karai Lore
Summary: *SLASH!* Rated R for adult situations, yada yada yada. No sex in it *sigh* (jk), but God willing maybe i'll throw it in. Loki and Bartleby are forgiven, and put back on earth. But trouble is brewing, between both unforgetting B's mind and heart, and G
1. Hands Clean

Disclaimer: Characters in this story do not belong to me (unless further noted, hehe) so do not sue! :) Just havin' fun elaborating on my favorite characters/movie, which belong to View Askew and Kevin Smith *bows humbly*  
  
Warning: Some mild slash contained.  
  
Hands Clean  
  
Playing the scene over and over again in his head, Bartleby saw himself kill Loki. His best friend in all eternity… No…  
  
The water splashed over the sides of the sink and Bartleby eventually came to. He scrubbed his hands harder and added more soap, but nothing could help him now. Nothing he did ever worked. The door opened behind him, and Bartleby jumped. He swirled around to face his equal.  
  
"You know, I am NOT going to retile this bathroom, again, B." Loki stood in the doorway, looking at Bartleby with eyes that sparkled like diamonds that were twinkling with silent laughter. "Nightmares again?"  
  
"Uhhuh… And each time it's the same. I see you… your blood on my hands, lifeless earthly body in my arms… and… I can't get the blood off! God!! WHY?" Bartleby slammed his fists forcefully onto the wet counter and Loki feared that the glass would shatter into a million pieces and cut his Bartleby to pieces. But deep inside he knew that She wouldn't give him relief in ending his life like that.  
  
"B… B, shh… Don't cry… Please. Don't torture yourself like this. I'm alive. See? I forgive you, I know it wasn't really my B that… Bartleby, I'm alive. Can't you just live with it?" Loki added this part quietly, and then trying to be reassuring and reprimanding at the same time, said, "And… don't damage yourself, please… I don't like it."  
  
"It doesn't hurt," sniffled Bartleby unconvincingly. "And, well, I convinced you to do all these horrible things, and, well… Now we're stuck here eternally in this god-forsaken State as angels, and… and… we can't even kill ourselves!"  
  
"Well… we could, but I wouldn't recommend it. The out come… ick. I'd rather just be here… with you… My B." Loki had that soft tone in his voice again, and it made Bartleby feel a little self-conscious. As much as he would've liked to be, the Watcher was far from psychic. He let the words find him and settle gently onto his ears, but the impact was great. Was Loki hinting at something?  
  
"What… what are you…?"  
  
"Poor B… you mean you really haven't noticed? B… We're immortally human now. I-" Loki down cast his eyes, not wanting to sound arrogant or having his words come off wrong, "-was talking to Metatron the other day while you were out in the garden… And I figured you didn't need to learn of this so abruptly from the Voice of God about your newfound humanity. I thought it was best if I told you. You were having those nightmares… Hell, you still are. But it was just another wrench to throw into the well-oiled machine that it… My B."  
  
Loki stepped behind Bartleby and put his hands tenderly onto his shoulders. His light and gentle touch made numerous shivers go up Bartleby's spine. He was human now. Immortally so, but still human… Of the human kind… He could do everything those blasted mortals could. Drink alcohol, sleep, and express the passion he felt within himself…  
  
In time Bartleby's eyes fell on Loki's. The ex-Angel of Death's eyes were searching his for some sort of emotion. Bartleby took a throatful of Loki's sent in. That clean smell that was Loki's… no matter what Bartleby did, he could never really forget that smell. It was his Loki…  
  
Loki's hands found their way to Bartleby's neck… and softly to his chin… and then his cheek… Loki took his time caressing his beloved, and Bartleby felt himself floating… So this is what it's like to feel pleasure… Something in Bartleby's mind rejected Loki's touch, though, and he jerked away, just as.  
  
"No."  
  
"No?" This took Loki by surprise, and his hands and arms fell to his side. B's touch… his skin in Loki's hand… so soft… Loki had thought that after spending close on eternity with his Watcher that Bartleby would feel the same way as he did. He knew that Bartleby had told Bethany they were no more than friends, but how could he possibly truly think that?  
  
"I… I… Loki…" Bartleby looked at Loki with new human tears in his sea like eyes. He wanted to reassure Loki so much of his love for the sandy haired man that stood now in disbelief behind him. But he did not know those words he sought, and all he could do was stutter and wish Loki would not be mad with him… Deep in his heart he knew this was foolish. No man could deal with rejection. It was one of the worst sins to humankind…  
  
"Oh… Uh… I understand… No, really B… I don't know what came over me… Really, I think I'm just losing my mind or something, hehe. Just… Um, just insanity from this stupid place, I guess… Forgive me, eh?" Loki held back his tears well for a first-time human and turned on his heel from Bartleby. He needed to get away from him, now.  
  
What had gone wrong? Sure, Bartleby had told Bethany… but he could not have been telling her the truth. Time and time again when things got rough, or Bartleby and Loki were bored, they would tell each other things… and hadn't B once confessed his love to Loki? Or maybe it was only a dream Loki had had…  
  
New emotions that Loki had no words for swirled around his head. Being human had its ups and downs, and these emotions could definitely be considered borderline… His love, and new sensations he felt around him were great, and thrilled the child like Loki, but also the jealousy and hatred welling up into his poor mind… Why couldn't Bartleby just conform to Loki's abrupt love?  
  
Loki got up and grabbed his Jersey Devil's sweatshirt he had picked up secretly while in Jersey and stalked out of the room. His confused love quickly turned into rage at his equally confused counterpart. He let the screen door slam behind him and distantly he heard Bartleby cry out in distress, but cared nothing of him right now.  
  
He needed to get drunk. 


	2. You're not helping / Cleansing Fire

Disclaimer: Characters in this story do not belong to me (unless further noted, hehe) so do not sue! :) Just havin' fun elaborating on my favorite characters/movie, which belong to View Askew and Kevin Smith *bows humbly*  
  
Warning: Some mild slash contained.  
  
The Cleansing Fire  
  
Indeed, Bartleby had cried out, but not for the reason Loki would have thought of, had he stuck around long enough to contemplate his beloved's actions. The Voice of God had made his way into Loki and Bartleby's one- person bathroom… On fire.  
  
"AH! DAMNIT! DAMN THIS FIRE!! Ahhhhhhhh!" Metatron cursed dramatically until the fire was finally completely put out by Bartleby with a soaked towel and running water. Metatron was whining still as the fire doused itself out. His jacket was ruined again.  
  
"My… suit… Oh, dagnabit… And the dry cleaning does suck so up there…"  
  
"Don't let Her hear you say that…" Bartleby tried to chuckle, but found he could not. All of his laughter had left with his love's assumed departure.  
  
"Uhhuh. And how are the two turtle doves in a Wisconsin coop?" Metatron spit out this return with a mix of ferocious wit and dry anger. Bartleby was startled and taken aback.  
  
"Sorry. Just remember next time not to mess with a Seraph. Especially you, near-mortal." It was Bartleby's turn to whine. "To make a long story short, everyone up there's trying to figure out what's going on with you! God made the two of you to love each other, and protect each other. You certainly did the latter…" Metatron snorted here, and continued. "She did everything you asked for, and still YOU SCREW UP!"  
  
Metatron made his breathing even again as Bartleby began to cry.  
  
"Aw… now, now don't do that… Bartleby… No, c'mon… I didn't mean it… Oh, stop it already! Oh…. Fine… Fine. C'mere, yes yes, I'm sorry…" Metatron reached out to Bartleby for a comforting hug and Bartleby accepted the offer. He sobbed apologies into Metatron's shoulder and the Voice of God struggled to ignore the fact that his suit was further being ruined.  
  
Bartleby wailed to Metatron of Loki's practically lost love and his nightmares and everything else for hours on end. Metatron nodded when needed and clucked in sad agreement whenever Bartleby needed assurance that Metatron was listening to his ramblings. Finally, when Bartleby had ended his long would be speech with a numerous amounts of, "Why?"'s, Metatron dared to make his input.  
  
"Nobody ever said that being human was easy, Watcher…"  
  
"Well, who ever said I wanted to be human!"  
  
"Why… You did. Don't you remember? Oh." Metatron hurried along here, the feeling of uneasiness creeping upon his wings of angelic lace. "Of course not, your head had just been blown in… Well, It's the reason you're still here, as opposed to… well… some other place. It is also the reason you are still with Loki…  
  
"Just before -err- God spoke to you, she gave both of you a wish, you and Loki who was presently floating in Waiting. You had pleaded to be forgiven, and She was charmed by your sincerity and love, both of you. You then wished to go home finally, and Loki to be happy. Loki wished to be with you forever, because he had already forgiven you. He said that he had only wanted you to know of how he really thought, and that he forgave you. Loki didn't want you to have any trouble…  
  
"So, seeing as how you had made a double clause wish, you had to have your latter wish. It was granted that Loki be happy and have any wish he wanted, but Loki had already made his wish. In order for both of you to be completely happy, God saw no other way out except to make you eternally human. To both serve your punishment, and ease it, I guess. Who can ever tell what She is thinking? And going home would still unmake existence, considering God's decree has not ended as of yet. …Are you done crying now, Bartleby?"  
  
"So… what… what do I do now?"  
  
"Go after him, Bartleby. You've been with him three millennia. You know what you need and what he wants." Metatron placed his hands on Bartleby's bare shoulders. "Go," he whispered as the fires swirled around him again.  
  
The fires continued to grow and swirl, and temporarily they encompassed Bartleby's body. He felt the heat but did not mind it. The heat, he felt, was curing him, making him see clearer, and know what to do…  
  
The fires receded and the Voice of God was gone from Bartleby's bathroom. Bartleby quickly headed off to the living room and grabbed his shirt. He trotted out the front door and let it slam behind him. He had to find Loki before it became too late. He needed Loki to understand… 


	3. Angel of his own / Healing Words

Disclaimer: Characters in this story do not belong to me (except Trunic, which I SWEAR is original.), so do not sue! :) Just havin' fun elaborating on my favorite characters/movie, which belong to View Askew and Kevin Smith *bows humbly*  
  
Warning: Some mild slash contained.  
  
Healing Words  
  
Loki had downed eight shots of vodka, three glasses of Budweiser Beer and one wine cooler. His head was barely spinning, but the bartender looked as if Loki was about to become a corpse. Loki shook his head, and with slurred words acknowledged the bartender's stares.  
  
"I won't die… I'm immortal! Weeeeeeeee…" Loki spun in his chair and fell into the arms of some stranger that was looking intently at the fallen man. Loki sniffled and tried to clearly and completely focus on his fellow man. It looked a little like Bartleby…  
  
"I think you've had enough, Loke." The man sat next to Loki and propped up Loki onto his shoulders. "C'mon, man… What're you doing this to yourself for? She didn't make you immortal for this. Get up, Loki. You know you can…"  
  
Loki sniffled and buried his face in his friend's neck. Drunk as he was, his conscious mind still worked, not being completely human. He had recognized Trunic's voice. He had not heard it for many years, in fact, but still knew him. Loki never forgot a voice… Or at least not until he was completely and utterly drunk, which he was close to…  
  
As Loki's thoughts ran together, slipping silently into a near-coma, Trunic sighed and paid the bartender. He lifted the intoxicated Loki into his strong arms and walked out. Two men got into his way at the front, and Trunic replied to their grunts of blatant disapproval by spreading his gossamer wings for all in the bar to see. Trunic was all for angel preservation and sane humans, but tough times call for rough actions. The two biker men behind him stared at the tall Angel that had just passed them. One abruptly fell into the other's arms and as Trunic left normal hearing range both men fell to the floor in a dead faint. Trunic smirked and tucked away his wings while hoisting Loki up into his flat.  
  
Running a hand through his messy red hair, Trunic looked at the oblivious ex-Angel of Death and sighed. Such a glorious creature, chained by Trunic's fellow Grigori. No creature of such beauty and delicacy should be held down as this. Trunic trusted God's decree, but while his stop on Earth lasted, Trunic had decided to tie up some loose ends. She had gone too soft on Bartleby, who had convinced Loki that the only way to live was to die. Trunic hated Angels like that, especially Bartleby. But that was another story… Or maybe it wasn't.  
  
Before Trunic could rehash his history with the two ex-Seraphs, he noticed that Loki was stirring. Wanting to do something to make Loki even a bit more comfortable, he lifted the covers around Loki gently and tucked him away.  
  
Quietly, much in contrast to before when he had visited Bartleby, Metatron appeared behind the Archangel. Trunic did not even have to turn around for him to Know. The Voice had come to yell at him, most likely. Tell him about how this love affair was supposed to work out. But Trunic had seen. Oh, had he seen. His divine focus had been rejected by the one he loved. Trunic knew how that felt.  
  
"No, Metatron. I do not love this near-mortal. Do not even ask it of me." Trunic turned and faced the Voice. "Please, just let me be with him. I do not know what it is I feel for him, but it is there. I do not love him, Metatron." Trunic repeated this last phrase directly to the Voice, and Metatron only nodded, and looked sadly at the sleeping Loki.  
  
"It seems…" Metatron took a deep breath. He seemed to have trouble in explaining something to the confused Archangel. "It seems that Lucifer has once again had his well oiled devil fighters training. He plans to invade Heaven again." Metatron looked at Trunic. "And She needs you."  
  
"She didn't need me for the last two thousand years, Metatron. I am out of shape, and of no use to Her." Trunic scowled, and turned his gaze back to the sleeping man. He felt Metatron shift his stare to his back and felt uncomfortable again. "Do not stare at me, Metatron."  
  
Metatron nodded and sighed exasperated. "You know perfectly well Angels do not go out of shape. We retain that of which She bestowed upon us when we were created. And She did not need you because She thought your need had subsided. But She did not have it in her divine heart to destroy you, only to make you as something else. She grew tired of the constant games that They played and wiped Them out. Your purpose had been filled… Trunic, come with me now."  
  
"I can not leave him, Metatron. He will be distorted as he rises. He will need someone here for him." Trunic felt his heart grow heavy, but continued looking at the fallen angel he silently protected from a distance. Whereas the Watcher Bartleby was Loki's created as Loki's life mate, Trunic was created for a double purpose. To protect the Kingdom of Heaven and serve God's every militaristic whim and to see to the Angel of Death. Incase of something like the revolt Bartleby had inspired. Unfortunately, the war with Lucifer had just started to brew and Trunic could not pay full attention to his ward. Trunic had blamed himself for a while, until She informed him Loki was better off with his beloved Watcher.  
  
Trunic, however, had come to believe that this was not what had been intended. In fact, Trunic had come to believe this with all of his angelic heart. Sighing and trying to figure out whether to obey his creator or his destroyer, as he affectionately came to call Loki. He sighed and turned to Metatron.  
  
"I will go with you. Promise me he will be taken care of."  
  
"Bartleby is already on his way. Let's go before he finds you here. You two never did get along."  
  
"We were created as two conflicting elements. I think She had that in mind."  
  
"You're probably right." Metatron initiated his Fires of Transportation and motioned to Trunic for him to join him. Trunic grudgingly  
  
obliged.  
  
"You're probably right, Voice… You do know more than most."  
  
"Indeed. But no more talk, Bartleby comes this way." 


End file.
